Thankful for my most dreaded holiday. [[list no. 1]]

Bratty relatives.

Being the odd one out.

Turkey.

Crazy relatives.

Cold.

Long car rides.

Family gossip.

Overeating.

Food coma.

Pulling an all-nighter.

The worst materialistic holiday eve.

Knowing that I participate in the selfish materialism.

Planning out for the next day.

Awkward conversations.

Cliche conversations.

Leftovers.

Things that although I am grateful for, I wish this holiday could go without.

Ravenscroft, Hockey Games and Thanksgiving Break

Ravenscroft practice begins tonight. It seems I just finished one show and start another. Well, that's life, and how I live it.

I got Eric out of the house and we went to the mall. He ACTUALLY sat through an hour of shopping for jeans for me. How nice of him :] Then we went to Steak n. Shake. Since that's his favorite place, I let him pick and I paid since he so patiently waited outside of Rue21's dressing room while pair after pair of jeans were tossed and discarded until the perfect pair sought out.

Well, then I went to his hockey game. And sat with his mom. For an hour and a half.

Not meaning to make it sound like torture at all. I like his mom. We got to talk for a while and I think she likes me. I told her how wonderful of a son she has and that he shows nothing but respect for me.

Thanksgiving Break, finally. To sleep in for once, how nice it will be, and then the Foundation Charity basketball game tomorrow... I look forward to it.

I wish the weather would make up it's mind. One day it snows and looks like a winter wonderland, the next day it rains and mud cakes the soles of my shoes. I think Mozart's Symphony 40 in G major perfectly fits the day: It's got high parts that seem almost joyful, such as when it snowed today, or the fact that today is the last day of the school week, but as the song was written after the death of Mozart's young child, it is a dreary song (though it is composed well) as today is. Dreary all together with some high parts. A sad day, it is.

The situation with my friend is resolved. He doesn't realize his position as a citadel of strength and a Christ-witness to me. The thing with Eric, though, I am still not sure about. He pretty much beat-around-the-bush told me that he wants to say I love you, but I kind of told him that I thought it was too early (It's only been a month and a half) and that I didn't want to hurt his feelings because simply I don't feel the same way. Yes, I really like him a lot, but am I patient and kind, not envious or boastful, humble, polite, selfless, tolerant and forgiving, enduring all things, believing and bearing all things, never failing him?* Of course not. I'm fifteen and this is just a boyfriend that I've had less than two months. So I don't want to lie to him just because he feels that way about me.

So as for that situation, I am sorry that I may have hurt his feelings, but better to be hurt by the truth than pleased with a lie.

* (Referencing 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Two down, Twenty-eight to go.

Bell choir concerts, that is.

School drama show= over as of last night.

Downtown show=began as of last Sunday, rehearsals begin sometime soon.

I'm getting really worn down and I look forward to thanksgiving break... even though I will most likely be working right through it.

Problems are arising with the boyfriend and the best friend.

And the girl that criticizes my every move. She can just go away. Pick on someone her own mannered.

Christmas is nearing. I am becoming overly busy. I wish I could just pause life right now, straighten everything up, and then un-pause it.

It doesn't help that my favorite Bible was left at school. Arghh.

And yet, by some odd disposition, I have had the craving to hear and perform any classical piece I can get my hands on. I'm going insane. My Christmas list? A boxed set featuring the greatest composers of all time.

And they're all named Johann(es) (1 Paravonian, Youtube)

I'm not a princess,

This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet and lead her up the stairwell.
This ain't Hollywood
This is a small town
And it's too late for you and your white horse
To come around.

Because I've found something better and tomorrow makes it one month :] I'm not really that sad over Jordan anymore. I guess it just wasn't in God's favor for me, and maybe things are better that we don't talk any more. He did move pretty fast and that's never a good sign. But yes, I have found someone who thinks I am perfect and treats me like a queen. Some may say I have him 'whipped', but I think it's more that we respect each other and do things for each other and don't just see each other as sex objects. Eric and I are at the place right now where we cuddle and watch movies, kiss goodnight, and leave each other cute texts and notes. I love it. I don't have to worry that he will break up with me because I'm too prude nor do I have to worry about being rushed. I mean, he's not perfect, and neither am I. Sure, he isn't a Jordan-look-alike, but I think he is great looking. I think another problem with Jordan was that I felt inferior to him because he was so wealthy and very, very good looking and popular at his school. Me, I'm middle class but I have nice things, and I'm not ugly but I am certainly not the prettiest or most popular girl at my school. I'm okay with that. Eric is obsessed with playing as many sports as he can, and I'm obsessed with playing as many instruments as I can. Our hobbies are alike, but not in the way that we are competitive about them, and I like that. I appreciate the little things he does for me, like sending cute texts, making sure I get home safely, kissing my forehead when I'm falling asleep, and never do I get tired of hearing his friends tell me of how much he talks about me. And no, he isn't the total romantic-verse-reciting-throwing-rocks-at-my-window-Noah-Calhoun-calls-me-beautiful-dances-with-me-in-the-rain-makes-me-mixed-cds-knows-all-my-favorites-surprises-me-for-no-reason prince that I have always wished for, but who in this world fulfills that desire? A better question is, how could I, a normal human being, live up to this person's expectations? I know I couldn't be the Charlie's-Angel-cooks-amazingly-always-looks-like-a-model-doesn't-nag-always-cheery-agreeable-mysterious-perfectly-petite-daring princess any man wishes for. So no, he's not everything I have ever wanted, and I'm cool with that. It wouldn't be fair. I think God gives us our quirks and makes us argue to bring us closer. A perfect person would be so boring. Maybe Eric and I will last, maybe we won't. So far, we have lasted longer than almost any relationship I have been in before, and I'm not becoming bored with him and I hope he isn't with me. Whatever happens, happens, and for a reason. He's not riding a white horse and he's not Prince Charming, but I am not Juliet descending her stairwell, so I will take this for what it's worth.

It's only fitting.

As it is 11/11 and approaching 11:11, I have a big wish to make.





Which will not be said, lest it not come true.



But happy 45th birthday dad, wherever you are, creeping on my blog.

Fearless>Carrie Underwood

So the new Taylor Swift album came out, and it is amazing.

My favorite, of course, is Fifteen.

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
you're gonna believe them
and when you're fifteen
feeling like there nothing to figure out
well count to ten, take it in
this is life before who you're gonna be
fifteen '

God, I wish someone would have told me that before freshman year even started.

Isn't it odd how music can just express our true thoughts and feelings and give us the advice we need?

As Shakespeare wrote, If music be the food of love, play on.

Let the games begin.

the first bloody nose of the season means only one thing.

Well, two.

Number one, our family's supply of Kleenex will be rapidly lessening and I will be spending much time holding my nose over a sink.

Number two, winter is here.

Yes, it's one of my favorite things, the breaking of blood vessels and whatnot and having blood gushing out of my nose. It gets me out of class, sometimes out of school even (okay, that hasn't happened since 7th grade. They had to send me home because it wouldn't stop. The second week of school and I was already being sent home. Great, right? No. Shows how concerned our school was about liabilities and whatever.).

And I guess my doctor has always suspected it to be some polyp that's causing all of this, but why would I want to have surgery up my nose? Sure, bloody noses are no fun at all, but surgery is worse. I'm good with shoving cotton up my nasal cavity and holding ice on my face.

Winter is here. Technically, it's still autumn, but as long as I'm shivering, wearing a heavy coat, curling up with cocoa and putting on my fleece robe when I get up, it's winter to me.

My absolute favorite. Cold wind, slushy snow, slippery ice, tacky coats, lost gloves, not-warm-enough furnaces.... delightful.